


Brief Freedom

by redsnake05



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Coming of Age, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-24
Updated: 2010-03-24
Packaged: 2017-10-08 06:54:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/73895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redsnake05/pseuds/redsnake05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is ripe for adventure and rebellion. His cousin Fabian, debonair and gorgeous, shows him more than he expected. He learns that sometimes you have to do what's right, not just what's easy, and it's about making the best decision day after day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brief Freedom

After Sirius left home, and left school, he embraced rebellion whole-heartedly. The sweet air of freedom swooped into his lungs and invigorated his blood, rushing to his head and causing giddy outbursts. His first tattoo stretched over his bicep, the spare black lines of the star contrasting with the smooth curves of the pawprint underneath, and he'd watched curiously as the old skin sloughed away and was left glowing and new. Ripe for any mischief. So he told himself.

His own place was part of it. However, the casual sweep of the older man's eyes over the threadbare carpet, the discarded bottles and mouldering cigarette butts diminished it considerably. Sirius did his best to cling to the illusion of being a hip young bachelor, but sullenly cleared the magazines off a chair so his cousin Fabian could sit. Sirius had never met any of his Prewett cousins before, but had taken one look at the redhead in the fantastic trenchcoat on his doorstep and had been willing to agree with any familial relationship suggested to him. Perhaps he'd find out where the man had his coat made.

"Yes, I'll have a beer," Fabian said, draping that coat on the floor beside him and running his hands through his long red hair to tidy it. Sirius was fleetingly envious of his shirt, too, all wide cuffs and the merest hint of a ruffle, but reminded himself that he was a man of the world now, and his own taste in clothes was quite cool enough. "Nice to have a place to yourself, isn't it?" Fabian asked, smiling in thanks as Sirius brought back beer for both of them.

"Yeah, it's really cool," agreed Sirius.

"I suppose you're wondering what's brought me here," continued Fabian, after a small silence. Sirius sipped his beer and made a noncommital noise. Fabian looked amused. "Can't I drop in and see my cousin without a reason?"

"It's not like you've ever done so before," said Sirius.

"Can you drop in to Black Manor?" asked Fabian. "I don't recall any Prewett having done so, but I suppose I could have tried. That mother of yours has a nasty way with a hex, though."

Sirius snorted into his beer. "Why have you come to see me, Fabian?" he asked, trying to feel adult and weary and cynical, rather than burningly curious.

"Oh, just passing by, feeling cousinly interest, wanting to invite you to a party this Friday."

"A party?" asked Sirius, sceptically.

"Really, you look like I just invited you to chew a flobberworm," complained Fabian. He stretched out his legs, and Sirius was smitten with another pang as he looked at his boots. "I'm not inviting you to a family dinner or anything like that. No Sunday roast with the old people or Molly and her horde of brats. It's a party. I am only twenty-eight, remember."

Sirius considered. Those boots decided him. No one who wore boots like that could be too deadly dull. Remus and James would manage without him for one evening.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

His instinct had not misled him. When he apparated into the alleyway next to Fabian's flat, music poured from an open window and over him like a blessing. He strode out in his new boots, glad that Fabian had warned him to wear Muggle clothes, climbed the stairs and wondered, nervously, if this was going to be good.

No one noticed him, and the door was wide open. People crammed into the hallway in little knots, all drinking and laughing and smoking. The lounge was a wall of sound, and people danced and drank and laughed here as well. Sirius finally ran Fabian to earth in the kitchen, finding him filling his glass. Sirius's bottle was firmly wrested from him and inspected, and a hearty backslap was applied. "I knew I'd have a relative I approved of sooner or later," Fabian said, voice pitched loudly to be heard over the music. He thrust a tumbler into Sirius's hand and let him gulp a mouthful down before ushering him onto the balcony and into a nest of people all chattering madly. The noise was quieter here, and Sirius realised a very subtle muffling charm was in action.

"Everyone, this is my cousin, Sirius," he announced. A dazzling round of smiles and hellos buffeted Sirius, and a woman clad in an enormous feathery scarf made a spot of room for him to lean on the balcony rail too. Fabian's attention was claimed by someone else, and Sirius squeezed into the spot. He felt rather small and out of place, as loathe as he was to admit it.

The woman in the feathery scarf noticed his discomfort and gave his arm a friendly pat, smiling sympathetically. "It's just like Fabian to discard you like that," she said. "My name's Bathsheba." They shook hands awkwardly, and Sirius wondered what he should say. He needn't have worried. "Just finished school, have you? You'd know my younger brother then, Uriel Babbling."

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said. "Beater on the Ravenclaw team."

"That's right," she said. "What are you doing now?" A handrolled cigarette was being passed around and she took a long drag before passing it to him. Sirius watched her hold it down and then let the smoke stream out in thin blue tendrils. He took a deep puff himself, holding it down and feeling it burn into the furthermost crevices of his lungs. He managed to get it back out without choking, and passed it on, hoping that she wouldn't notice his eyes watering. That didn't taste like tobacco.

Bathsheba prattled pleasantly, introducing Sirius to another woman. He soon felt the most langourous happiness seep over him and took another drink to ease the dryness in his throat. "Can I get you a drink?" he asked, noticing that Bathsheba's glass was empty. She smiled and handed it to him, and Sirius wove through the crowd to the kitchen. He located his bottle in the mass of them cluttering the bench, ranged in varying degrees of fullness over the formica. Slopping some into both glasses, Sirius turned back to face the return path, no longer worried about not knowing anyone, or whether the party might turn out to be a dull affair. His veins seemed to tingle with joyous promise. Freedom. That's what must be fizzing through his veins.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Sirius woke the next morning with a groan, burying his head firmly under the pillow. He waited for a few moments, but sleep appeared to have vanished for good. Stretching out on his stomach, he noticed three things simulataneously. First, his head felt like it had been invaded by dwarves, complete with makeshift anvil. Second, there was someone else in the bed. Third, he was nearly completely clothed. Only his boots and jeans seemed to be missing.

When he managed to figure out number two, he was either going to be really sorry or really grateful for number three. Number one was going to have to be ignored until he got the other two sorted out. Twisting awkwardly, he managed to get out from under the pillow and flop onto his back. Perhaps he was going to have to deal with number one first after all.

"Here," said an amused voice in his ear, "a spoonful of this will set you to rights." The familiar minty smell of a hangover potion assailed his nostrils and he cracked his eyes open the barest amount possible, fumbling a measure into the spoon and getting it into his mouth. He lay very still and waited for the blessed relief to flood through him. The sheets were soft underneath him, but the bed didn't feel quite like his. He mind returned back to number two.

"Better now?" said the voice. It sounded quite familiar, still amused, and deliciously masculine. Sirius shook his head. He must still be drunk. Deliciously masculine was not on his list of desireable body options. "No?" asked the voice. "That's a shame."

Sirius's cock twitched sharply against his fly in the confines of his briefs. This was getting out of hand. His eyes flew open, and he saw Fabian propped up on one elbow beside him, smiling at him. That disturbingly smug smile also had no place on his list of desireably body options, yet there it was. "Good morning," he squeaked. "Uh, why am I in your bed?"

Fabian's smile widened. "I found you here last night," he explained. Blood rushed to Sirius's face. "You were quite the handful," he continued.

"Was I?" asked Sirius.

"Oh, yes. Very insistent." Smiling almost predatorially, Fabian ran a hand down his own chest and side, drawing Sirius's eye with the movement. Sirius licked his lips, eyes wide. The number of things that were being added to his new list of turn-ons was staggering.

"Really? he quavered. "I don't remember."

"What a disappointment," purred Fabian. "After you told me I was the best you'd ever had." He reached out and ran one finger down Sirius's sleeve, tracing the muscles in his arm through the thin shirt. "Perhaps I'd better refresh your memory."

Sirius swallowed hard. He really didn't remember anything, and Fabian looked so tempting, and his voice was like honey. He quickly licked his lips again, wishing that Fabian would kiss him or let him go. Something, anyway. Sirius saw Fabian's eyes gleam hungrily for an instant before he pulled back and laughed.

"Really, Sirius, you're still in your clothes!" he said. "How was I supposed to have had my wicked way with you if you're not even naked?"

Sirius flushed even redder and pushed Fabian roughly, making him laugh more. Sirius had to laugh too, even as he wondered why Fabian hadn't really kissed him, and what he could do to make him do it next time. There didn't seem to be time for a sexual identity crisis after that, and besides: rebellion. He was ripe for it.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

It was nice having some family, reflected Sirius as Fabian swept into his lounge a month later and surveyed the clutter, obviously seeking a place to sit. Sirius grinned and swept a pile of magazines off a chair, deliberately dislodging Hot Broom Boys from the pile and leaving it on the floor where Fabian was sure to see it. Having a cousin was nice, but having a cousin to seduce you and show you the ways of all those desirable body options you'd suddenly awakened to would be better. He had to admit, his obsession with James and the Quidditch showers made a lot more sense now.

He wordlessly offered Fabian a beer and dropped into a sprawl on the carpet, legs splaying open, tight jeans hugging his crotch. He hoped Fabian would enjoy the view. He hoped Fabian would slide out of the chair, crawl over his body, press him down everywhere and kiss him, hungry and hard and aching. He wanted to tangle his hands in that long red hair and open up to everything Fabian had to give. The hunger he'd realised after the night he'd woken up in Fabian's bed had only grown, discovering new permutations of want. Belatedly, he realised Fabian was waiting for his reply to something, and concentrated again.

"Party. Tonight," repeated Fabian. "At Bathsheba's place. She quite likes you," he teased.

"Well, yeah," said Sirius, trying to sound like he impressed older women every day. "Where and what time?"

Fabian looked him up and down, and for a moment Sirius was sure he was going to take him up on the carefully placed invitation in every line of his body. "I'll pick you up at 8.30," he said. "Side-along you. It's a bit hard to find."

"Cool," replied Sirius, hoping that he would be able to find something devastatingly attractive in his wardrobe in the next three hours and have time for a visit to the bottle store. And maybe tonight Fabian would take him up on the offer he was making.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

This party was quieter, more intimate, than the first one at Fabian's place. People squeezed into Bathsheba's tiny apartment, Muggle music whispered from the wizarding record player and people congregated in little clumps around the room. Fabian poured them both drinks in the poky kitchen. He looked around critically.

"Good thing Sheba can't cook to save herself," he said. "I don't think there's room to fry an egg and make toast at the same time in this place."

"Just got to be flexible," said Sirius, taking a big mouthful of his drink. "Bend your body the right way."

Fabian eyed him up and down again. "Yeah. That might work." Sirius felt absurdly proud of himself, eliciting that husky note from Fabian's voice. He smirked, flicking his hair back over his shoulders.

Sirius knew he was grinning insanely, but he didn't care. He talked and laughed, and leaned into the touches Fabian was giving him. Whenever Fabian came within reach there was a hand on his back, and quick stroke of fingers down his arm, a tug on his hair. Sirius grew bold, returning the touches – a quick brush of fingers when handing on a glass or a joint, a nudge of the knee. Fabian's smiles grew sharper, edged, and Sirius was half-hard in his jeans already.

The party started to wind down and they said their goodbyes to Bathsheba. Once inside the alleyway from which they had to Apparate, Fabian pushed Sirius up against the wall. One hand slid inside Sirius's shirt and rested rough and perfect on his belly, the other braced on the wall next to his head.

"Well, little Sirius?" said Fabian. "Is this what you've been waiting for?" Sirius nodded, tilting his face, waiting to be kissed. "Do you know what you're getting into?"

"I know enough," said Sirius, breath coming a little faster already, at the thought of Fabian's mouth on his. "Come on, Fabian. Don't tease me. I know you want this too."

"You have no idea," replied Fabian. He pulled back abruptly, ignoring Sirius's whine. "No, I'm not going to do this in an alleyway. Let's go back to my place."

He Apparated away, leaving Sirius to follow. Sirius had to breathe deeply before he trusted himself to be able to do it without splinching himself. He admitted, privately, to being just the slightest bit nervous. But there was no more point in worrying about actually going through with this than there had been in changing teams in the first place, and he'd managed that without the least bit of heart burning.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Fabian was pouring whiskey into a glass when Sirius came through the door. He smiled and took the glass he was offered. "Sit down," invited Fabian, gesturing to the sofa. Sirius sat down, a little disapointed when Fabian sat far enough away that they weren't touching. Fabian looked at him for a long, thoughtful moment, turning the glass round in his fingers.

"Do you know what you're doing, Sirius?" he asked at last.

"I want you," said Sirius, boldly, made brave by the alcohol and the lingering ghost of Fabian's hand on his belly, the rough scrape of bricks on his shoulders.

"Do you? Want me? Or do you want to say 'fuck you' to your family?"

Sirius was confused, and he knew his face was probably showing it. "What do you mean? I want you, Fabian. Of course I want you."

Fabian smiled, a wry twist of lips that Sirius didn't quite understand. "Well, why not?" said Fabian. "Life's too short, isn't it?" Sirius smiled in relief, hoping that finally Fabian was going to give him what he'd been craving for weeks.

Fabian put his drink down on the table, watching as Sirius followed suit. Then he tugged Sirius close, running his hands up his arms and over his shoulders, sliding one round Sirius's neck and tilting his head. Sirius ran his own hand up Fabian's thigh, unconsciously gripping as their lips met, Fabian gently pushing into the kiss, Sirius opening his mouth to it.

Sirius gasped, letting Fabian take control, feeling the sweet burn of arousal run over his skin. Fabian tasted like pot and whiskey, stubbled skin rubbing over Sirius's own, tongue slick and hot inside his mouth. One hand still on Fabian's leg, the other hovering uncertainly around his shoulder, Sirius moaned softly into the kiss. Fabian drew back.

"Have you ever been with a man before, Sirius?" he asked, voice low and dark-edged. Sirius could feel it shiver through him. He swallowed hard.

"No," he admitted. "I've been with women." Something about Fabian encouraged him to be honest. "A few, not many."

"Do you know what you want to do with me?" Fabian asked.

Sirius nodded. He did know. He had thought about this. "I want to suck your cock," he said. "I've never done that before. And I want you to suck me. And maybe fuck me. I want that. I want to know that I'm with a man, with you." He looked up, meeting Fabian's eyes, hoping that his face showed just the right degree of lust. "I want you to help me," he said. "Teach me what to do."

Fabian chuckled, a kind sound. "I don't think there will be any problems with that," he replied. He leaned forward, capturing Sirius's mouth. Sirius leaned into it, whimpering in loss when Fabian drew back. "Just do what feels good," he said. "Touch me as much as you want. Kiss me. Whatever you want, Sirius."

Sirius tangled one hand in Fabian's hair, dragging their mouths back together. His other hand slid up over Fabian's hip, sliding under his shirt and across the softly furred skin of his belly. Groaning, Fabian arched into the caress, bringing his own hands down to fumble with Sirius's buttons without breaking the kiss. He parted the collar of his shirt and ran his hand over Sirius's chest, finding and playing with his nipples. Now it was Sirius's turn to groan.

"I want to go to bed," said Sirius, pulling back, breathing hard.

"Good idea," said Fabian, standing and pulling him to his feet. He took Sirius's hand and led him towards the bedroom. Sirius would never had admitted it, but he appreciated the reassurance of their clasped hands. He hoped his nervousness didn't show on his face. He was turned on and just a little bit scared, and he desperately didn't want Fabian to stop.

Fabian didn't stop. He turned the lights on low with a quick charm, then turned back the covers on the bed before turning to face Sirius. "Do you want to see me naked?" he asked. Sirius nodded, mouth dry. Fabian unbuttoned his shirt, making a show of it, exposing the muscled planes, dusted with red hair through which his nipples peeked. Fabian shrugged it off, fingers moving to his belt. He slipped the buckle open, opening the button and sliding down the zip. Watching avidly, Sirius was transfixed as Fabian pushed the trousers and his pants down his thighs, letting them pool on the floor. He sat on the bed and tugged off his boots and socks, kicking everything aside and looking up at Sirius, unashamedly naked. Sirius stared, taking in the smooth, pale skin, the red hair gleaming copper in the candlelight, the hard cock that pointed towards him.

"Can I undress you?" asked Fabian. Sirius nodded, still silent and transfixed as Fabian dropped to his knees and gently tugged off Sirius's boots and socks, running his fingers over the top of his foot before setting it back down. Looking up at Sirius, Fabian slowly opened his trousers, kissing and mouthing along his hipbone as he pulled the fabic apart. Raising his arms to Fabian's shoulders, Sirius thrust his hips forward slightly in unconscious invitation.

Pushing Sirius's trousers and pants down, Fabian encouraged him to step out of them. Looking up, he smiled. "I want to suck your cock," he said. "Let me."

"Okay," said Sirius. "Did you think I'd object?" he added, breathlessly.

"Let yourself go," said Fabian. "We have all night, we can do this again." With that, he closed his lips over the tip and sucked hard, turning whatever response Sirius had planned into a long moan instead.

Sirius gave himself up to the pleasure, leaning on Fabian's shoulders, struggling to keep his knees from buckling, letting Fabian's tongue elicit every tingle of desire possible. He rocked, trying not to thrust, trying to hold back, but the slick suction was too much. It rocketed through him and over him, and he came deep in Fabian's mouth with a low, desperate groan.

Fabian tumbled him onto the bed and pressed close, running his hands over Sirius reassuringly, whispering in his ear. Sirius kissed him, discovering that he liked the taste of his come in Fabian's mouth. He moaned softly, running his hands over Fabian's shoulders and down his back as far as he could reach.

"You haven't come," he said, feeling Fabian's cock pressing into his thigh.

"I will," said Fabian. "You wanted me to fuck you, remember? By the time I have you open and ready for me, you'll be hard again, begging me to take you."

Sirius dragged in a shaky breath. "I'm just about ready to beg now," he joked.

Fabian smiled darkly and pinched one of Sirius's nipples, laughing softly when Sirius moaned sharply and squirmed against him. "You'll keep," he said, bending his head to bite softly on the nipple he'd just pinched.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Sirius bounded up the stairs to Fabian's apartment. He'd finished Auror training at lunchtime, to make up for the evening tutorials they had just started, and he knew Fabian had this afternoon off. He grinned as he rounded the last corner and saw the door already ajar. He paused, suddenly a little nervous. He wasn't quite sure how to approach. It wasn't like he had a lot of experience with relationships. Maybe he should have owled first, but Fabian had seemed sincere, when he told him to drop round any time, and they'd had a couple of pleasant evenings and scorching nights together, since their first time. He could do this. Squaring his shoulders, he walked up the last flight.

"Fabian?" he called, knocking lightly on the open door.

"In here," Fabian called back from the kitchen. Striding down the short hallway and through the lounge to the kitchen, Sirius tried to get his nerves under control. Fabian looked up from making a cup of tea with a smile. Sirius answered the smile somewhat anxiously. "Tea?" asked Fabian, turning away and already reaching for a cup.

"Yeah," said Sirius, feeling rather stupid standing in the doorway, but not sure what to do about it. He leaned against the doorframe and folded his hands across his chest, tucking his hands away to disguise their nervous shaking and fluttering. Fabian seemed oblivious, finally turning with the cups and setting them on the table. His eyes raked over Sirius, propped in the doorway. Wishing desperately that the looked more comfortable, Sirius licked his lips as Fabian skirted the table and approached him. Sirius licked his lips again just before Fabian's hand slid into his hair and tugged him into a kiss. Sirius moaned softly and opened to the kiss, arms unfolding and wrapping around Fabian's shoulders as the other man nudged closer. Fabian's tongue stroked lazily in Sirius's mouth as his other hand slid down to squeeze his arse and pull him even closer.

"You're cute when you're nervous," murmured Fabian into Sirius's neck, pulling away from the kiss at last. He bit gently into the tender skin of Sirius's throat.

"Am not," protested Sirius, running his hands up and and down Fabian's back.

"You are cute," said Fabian. He stepped back, giving Sirius one last kiss. "Tea?"

"Kiss me again," said Sirius, tightening his hold on Fabian's shoulder and reeling him back in. "Maybe I was a little nervous," he confessed, nipping Fabian's lower lip. He felt Fabian grin against his mouth, hand sliding up to twine through his hair. Sirius shivered and played with Fabian's hair as they kissed again, slow and leisurely, as if they had all the time in the world to explore and claim each other.

"Mummy!" Sirius jumped, hitting his elbow on the doorframe as he pulled back from Fabian, gaping down at the small redhead that had appeared at his knee. "Uncle Fabian's in here. With a man," continued the child. A loud gasp came from the lounge, by the hallway, followed by the appearance of a harried looking woman who swooped in and tugged the child back from Fabian and Sirius.

"Molly," said Fabian, "how nice to see you. Did you just arrive? And that's little Percy, isn't it? Molly, Percy, this is Sirius."

"They were kissing," announced Percy. "I saw them." Sirius smiled, face flushing with embarassment, edging away from the doorway. Risking a glance at Fabian's face, he saw the other man smiling, with just a hint of malicious amusement, quickly masked.

"Percy!" snapped the woman.

"That's okay, Molly," said Fabian. "Come and have a cup of tea."

"No, no, I have a lot to do today," she said, shortly, gaze swinging from Fabian to Sirius uncomfortably. Sirius looked at her more closely, seeing the spots of colour burning high on her cheeks. Sirius ducked his head uncomfortably. It hadn't occured to him that other people might look at them like that. With disapproval, or anger.

"Just going to the toilet," he muttered, sliding past Molly in the doorway and heading down the hall. Once inside, he leaned his head against the wood and sighed deeply. So that was his cousin Molly, he mused. He sighed again, distracted by a banging on the door.

"Are you finished?" called the child. "I need to go." Sirius opened the door, shaking his head as the child pushed past him. He shook his head over the obvious bossiness he could see in the child already, remembering the high colour and angry gleam in Molly's eyes. He felt slightly sick. He headed back to the kitchen, stopping short when he heard the sound of raised voices.

"You can't pretend you didn't know about me," said Fabian. "You know why I don't tell our parents, but you also know that I'm not going to hide it anywhere else."

"But him? He's only nineteen, Fabian! Did you think I had forgotten all my family history?"

"I know it's not his age that really irks you, Molly."

"And a Black!" she spat, sounding indignant. Sirius wondered if he should retreat back down the hallway, leave them some privacy for their argument.

"Well, so?" Sirius had never heard quite that tone in Fabian's voice. It was as full of lazy good-humour as ever, but there was a faint undercurrent of hardness in it. "This particular Black has been disinherited. But that's not really what the problem is, is it?"

"It's not enough that he's nineteen? A Black? Disinherited? Probably after your money, too," she ranted.

"He's not after my money, Molly. Luckily for you. And you know as well as I do that Father is going to hold the purse strings until he keels over. Not much point in Sirius looking to me for a meal ticket." There was a pause and Sirius wondered if he should make a noise and enter the room. Fabian's next words stopped him, the chill in them shivering through him. "Get off your high horse, Molly. You're happy to accept my money. Accept that I'm gay, and never, ever, question my right to make my own decisions about who I fuck."

"But-" Molly's objection was shrill and cut off quickly.

"No buts. Go."

Molly burst out from the kitchen, face flushed even further and lips pressed in a tight line. Sirius jumped and backed up against the couch, trying hard to look like he hadn't just been caught eavesdropping on fighting siblings. She cast him a scorching glance, tucking a small bag into her pocket before heading down the hallway, presumably to retrieve her son. Sirius stepped into the kitchen, unsure what to expect. Fabian was standing at the sink, hands braced on the cool folded edge of sheet metal, eyes staring unseeingly out towards the afternoon sky. Sirius hovered in the doorway, unsure what to say or do, unsure if he should touch Fabian or just leave quietly. The bang of the front door slamming thudded through the house and Sirius watched Fabian's hands tighten even further. Sirius took a deep breath, stepping closer and resting one hand very gently on Fabian's shoulder.

"Not quite what you were expecting this afternoon, hmm?" Fabian asked, gaze still fixed on the sky outside.

"Not quite, no," agreed Sirius, pleased when the shoulder under his hand relaxed a little. He stepped a bit closer. Fabian turned then, red hair catching the sunlight and sparking into a halo round his head. Sirius raised his hand to stroke it, enjoying the smooth warmth of the strands. He twined it in his fingers, dragging them through the mass again and again. Fabian sighed softly and let Sirius play with his hair, slowly relaxing into the touch. Edging closer, Sirius rested lightly against Fabian, letting him slip his arms around Sirius's waist.

"Still on for that cup of tea?" asked Fabian, finally pushing back and away from Sirius. Sirius smiled and tipped Fabian's chin up with one hand, laying a smacking kiss on his lips.

"Maybe later," he said. Fabian looked at him questioningly. Most of the tightness was gone from his face, and Sirius smiled brightly. "We need to fuck."

"We do?" asked Fabian.

"Yep. And then you need to buy me dinner."

Fabian started to laugh softly. Sirius let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding, enjoying being able to make Fabian laugh, and even tease him gently about the afternoon's events.

"Come on, then," said Fabian, tugging Sirius by the wrist, out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. "But if I'm going to be your meal-ticket, you'd better be spectacular."

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Sirius paced backwards and forwards in his tiny kitchen, running through his mental checklist of what needed to be done before everyone arrived. He'd checked off everything at least three times, from empty ashtrays to plenty of ice and clean glasses when James bounded through the door and shoved a bottle of vodka towards him. "Happy housewarming!" he crowed. Sirius looked from him to Lily, following more sedately behind.

"Has he been drinking already?" he asked, indicating James with a jerk of his head. She smiled, the slow, amused, indulgent smile she still got sometimes, when James was doing something outrageous to capture her attention. James was puffing his chest up like a peacock's, reaching out and drawing Lily close.

"She's finally agreed, Sirius!" he said. Sirius looked perplexed.

"Agreed to what?" he asked.

James huffed impatiently. "Merlin! Some best friend you are," he huffed. "She's going to move in with me."

Sirius grinned, looking from James's proud face to Lily's happy, if resigned, smile. "Well, that must be where things went wrong in my brain, because I was having trouble imagining you living somewhere without your Mum."

"But I'll have Lily," said James, blankly. Sirius laughed as Lily wrenched her arm away from James's grip and shoved her wand under his nose. Even he knew that had been a stupid thing to say. James blinked at her for a second. "I meant, I'll have Lily to be a good inspiration and, um, to, um, worship and adore. Yes," he stammered.

"Nice save," growled Lily. "Sirius, get me a drink, before I explain to my beloved here exactly what was wrong with what he said via a few well placed hexes. The ones that create boils."

Sirius grinned as he mixed her a strong vodka and tonic, shoving a glass of water towards James after he handed it to her. People started to arrive, and Sirius was caught up in a round of introductions and sorting out his old music player. Finally coaxing the volume to remain stable, he sat back on his heels with a sigh. He sighed again as a hand slid over the back of his neck, sifting through his hair to find his nape and stroking the skin there with soft fingers. He tilted his head back to see Fabian smiling down at him.

"Hello, little cousin," he said, voice pitched low and intimate in spite of the music. Sirius climbed to his feet, dislodging Fabian's hand, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"I'm glad you could make it," said Sirius.

"I couldn't miss the chance to actually see your floor and most of your furniture," replied Fabian, mouth twitching. Sirius shoved him lightly.

"Got a drink?" he asked. He smiled when Fabian held up a glass, snagging it and taking a long drink. Fabian smiled back at him, taking his glass back and brushing quick fingers over Sirius's wrist.

"Go and get your own drink," Fabian said. "I'm going to go and talk with Bathsheba."

Sirius found Remus and Peter in the kitchen, Peter rummaging in the fridge. "If it's meant to go in the drinks it's on the bench," he said. Peter jumped, spinning round.

"Hi," said Remus. "Finally decided to say hello to your old friends, have you?"

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, and say welcome to my humble abode."

"It's not like we haven't been here before," said Peter, looking at Sirius sideways.

"Yeah, of course not, Peter," said Sirius, a trace of impatience colouring his voice. "But now it's clean." He made an expansive gesture that encompassed the lack of dishes in the sink and the cleanly wiped table.

"Sparkling," agreed Remus. Sirius grinned and busied himself with two glasses. Remus raised his eyebrows. "Two drinks, Sirius? Isn't that a little excessive?"

"One's for Fabian," Sirius said. "I just drank most of his." He looked at Remus and Peter. "Come on, what are you waiting for? It's a party, isn't it? Let's get out there." He led the way to the lounge, teasingly kissing Lily on the cheek as he passed her and James in the doorway to the lounge. Remus and Peter stopped there as Sirius weaved across the room to Fabian's side. He presented the drink with a flourish, smiling cheekily at Bathsheba as he did so. Fabian plucked the glass from his fingers and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Don't I get a kiss?" asked Bathsheba, smiling at him. Sirius smiled back, leaning into Fabian's touch as the other man rested a hand on his back, just under the hem of his t-shirt, fingers stroking softly over bare skin.

"Sheba!" Sirius said, in mock scandalised tones, "I distinctly saw you kissing Geraint at that party last weekend. I definitely don't want any residual germs." Fabian snickered.

"How about a kiss for me, then?" he asked. Sirius rested his hand over Fabian's jaw, lips sliding over his in a slow, burning kiss.

"Hmm, nice. Doing anything later?" asked Fabian.

"Several dirty things, no doubt," laughed Bathsheba.

"What she said," agreed Sirius, turning back and crossing the room back to his friends. Remus slapped him jovially on the back and Lily smiled warmly, but James's smile seemed a little forced. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, I didn't realise you and Fabian," said James, making a little hand gesture that was obviously supposed to be indicative of something. Sirius stared at him for a moment before turning to Remus and Lily.

"James is a bit surprised you didn't tell him you were gay before," said Lily, helpfully.

"Oh, that," said Sirius, suddenly reminded of Molly's pinched, angry face as she had swept past him. He looked down at his drink for a moment, hoping that the dim lights would cover his blush and sudden trepidation. "Is it a problem?" he asked.

"Nah," said James, punching him on the arm. Sirius smiled, relieved. He'd known, he thought, strangely light-hearted, that he could rely on his friends. He was happy to be standing there, with them, leaning in the doorway of his own flat, watching the floor slowly fill with bottles and papers and the detritus of companionship.

"Where's Peter?" asked Sirius, suddenly. Remus shrugged and looked to James and Lily. Lily pressed her lips together tightly and James looked uncomfortable.

"He disappeared," said James. "I'm sorry." Sirius nodded slowly.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Leaning in the doorway, Sirius looked round the room, cataloguing the remains of the party. Strong arms crept round him and he settled back against Fabian's body.

"So, did they approve of me?" asked Fabian, pressing kisses along Sirius's neck. Sirius tipped his head back, tilting it to allow Fabian better access.

"Hmm?" he asked, sliding his hands down Fabian's forearms and letting his fingers circle his wrists.

"Your friends. Don't think I didn't notice."

Laughing softly, Sirius turned his head a bit more to drop a kiss on the side of Fabian's head. "You don't miss much, do you?"

"No, not much," agreed Fabian.

"They liked you," said Sirius.

"Good. Can we go to bed and have celebratory sex now that you have come out to your best friends and they were fine with it?"

"What would we be doing if they hadn't been fine with it?" asked Sirius.

"Consolatory sex," answered Fabian. Sirius felt Fabian smile into his shoulder and rock his hips forward, sending a jolt of heat through him.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "That works for me." Turning, he wrapped his arms around Fabian's shoulders, tangling one hand in the long red hair at the base of Fabian's skull and nuzzling his face against Fabian's jaw.

"Works for me, too," replied Fabian, letting his hands slide down Sirius's back to rest on his arse, heavy and warm through the faded denim of his jeans. "Bed now?" Sirius chuckled and untangled himself, leading the way to the bedroom and lighting the candles with a quick charm. Fabian tugged off his shirt and casually scratched his hand through the light fuzz of hair on his belly. Sirius's eyes gleamed and Fabian chuckled softly. Toeing off his shoes, he unbuttoned his trousers and then paused, looking at Sirius. Blushing, Sirius realised he'd been staring and hurriedly pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. Fabian stripped the rest of his clothes off, padding over to steady Sirius as he tugged off his boots and kicked off his jeans. Sirius ran his hands up Fabian's arms, over his shoulders and round his neck.

"I want to fuck you," Sirius said, leaning close and nibbling on Fabian's ear.

"Yeah," said Fabian, tilting his head back and tightening his hold on Sirius's hips. "Good idea." He pushed Sirius towards the bed, crawling up after him to settle over him on the soft sheets. Looking up at him, Sirius was caught again by the way his hair caught and burned red in the candlelight, the way his muscles flexed under his fingers. He groaned and pulled Fabian forward, bringing their mouths together in a bruising kiss. Fabian seemed to catch alight from it, pressing hard into Sirius's embrace, grinding their cocks together. He fumbled for the lube Sirius kept under his pillow, reaching back and opening himself up. Sirius groaned, wriggling his own hand down to feel Fabian stretched around his own fingers.

"Can't wait to be inside you," gasped Sirius, mouthing along Fabian's throat before biting into the tender skin at the top. Fabian shuddered, twisting as he added a third finger. His hair feel forward around them both, and Sirius raised his other hand to brush it out of the way, tenderly tracing Fabian's jaw and cheek, drawing him back into a kiss. "Now, please now," he moaned, arching up against Fabian.

Laughing breathlessly, Fabian moved, straddling Sirius, sitting up over him. His red hair caught the sweat on his neck, wrapping over him in dark strands. Breath catching, Sirius ran his hands down Fabian's chest, raking through the hair on his chest and over his nipples. Fabian swallowed hard on a moan, shifting and moving down, body opening around Sirius's cock. Sirius moaned then, body jerking upwards to get more of that slick, tight heat. Fabian laughed again, and Sirius echoed the sound, smiling up at him. Then Fabian shifted and slid all the way down on him. Sirius watched as Fabian's eyes fluttered closed and his hands clenched on his thighs.

"You feel so good," said Fabian. "Do you like this?" Nodding, Sirius let his fingers tease down over Fabian's belly, wrapping one hand around his cock and stroking slowly. He wasn't going to last long, and he wanted to feel Fabian come first. Fabian shuddered and moved on him. "I'm going to ride you," he groaned. "Going to take everything you have to give me."

"It's all yours," said Sirius, thrusting up into him. Fabian moaned again, sliding up and down on Sirius's cock. Sirius was holding on, just, losing it by slow degrees, moving his hand on Fabian's cock in time with his slow rocking. "Can't take much more," Sirius said, voice breathless. "Please, Fabian, please." Fabian grinned and slammed down hard onto him, suddenly moving quick and sure, hand gripping round Sirius's and encouraging him to move faster. Sirius moaned, feeling the orgasm curling through him, sharp and hot, burning him, burning the image of Fabian's feral smile into his retinas. He came hard and long, shoulders lifting off the bed, hips stuttering jerkily. Fabian followed a few moments later, come spilling over their joined hands, striping Sirius's stomach and chest.

Fabian rolled to the side as he collapsed, stretching out over the bed next to Sirius. Still catching his breath, Sirius twined their fingers together as they lay together for a long moment. Finally, he reached for his wand and cleaned them both before leaning in to kiss Fabian gently.

"I wouldn't care if they didn't like you," he said. Fabian smiled at him sleepily, reply lost in a huge yawn.

"Be a good host and tuck me into bed and turn out the lights, will you?" he said, when he was finished. Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed Fabian gently, dragging the jumbled covers up and over the other man.

"Anything for you," he said.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Sirius unfastened his robes and threw them into a crumped heap in the corner. The smell of that 'training' bomb would never come out, he was sure of it. He stripped off the plain shirt and trousers he wore underneath, and sent his shoes and socks onto the pile as well. It would all have to be burned, if he didn't come up with a foolproof way to get the smell out soon. He sniffed his skin and wrinkled his nose. It was everywhere. He supposed he should count his blessings that none of it had got in his hair. He hated Auror training, sometimes.

Impatiently, he tugged his hair free from the ponytail he wore it in, scowling as it fluffed up around his head in a mess of tangles. He growled in annoyance, dragging his hand through the knots. The front door slammed and Sirius muttered under his breath. "I'm in here," he yelled.

"Cool," shouted Fabian back. Sirius heard footsteps approaching the bedroom and quickly disengaged his hand from his hair. He was going to need one of those charmed combs to deal with this.

"Merlin, you reek," said Fabian, stepping back from the door and waving his hand in front of his nose with a disgusted expression. He took in the dour expression on Sirius's face. "I can see you already know this," he said. He stepped back further. "I'm going to go and start a shower. You stick the strongest stench blocking charm you know on those clothes and come and join me."

Sirius wrinkled his nose at the clothes in the corner, trying a series of charms and hexes. He eventually managed to get it down to a bearable level, and turned for the bathroom. He heard the water running and grinned, bad mood evaporating. He would bet anything that Fabian would be naked, waiting for him. His cock twitched at the thought. He still couldn't believe what he had going with Fabian, even though it had been four months since they started.

"Are you coming?" called Fabian from behind the curtain. "I can smell you from here." Grinning even more widely, Sirius slipped into the stall and under the water. Fabian wrinkled his nose and thrust the soap at him. "What the fuck were you doing to end up smelling like this?" he asked.

"Training exercise," said Sirius, lathering the soap enthusiastically into his skin.

"Oh, well, that explains it," scoffed Fabian. "Hold still." Sirius felt a charm tingle through his hair, followed by Fabian's hands. Moaning softly and appreciatively, Sirius tipped his head back to afford Fabian better access. "Keep going with that soap," commanded Fabian. "You still reek."

Sirius soaped himself as thoroughly as he could while Fabian patiently untangled his hair and lathered it up. Sirius moaned again as he soaped his own chest and down his belly. The warm slide of hands over slippery skin was turning him on even further, and he carefully soaped his hard cock and sensitive balls before slipping his hand down further, to play between his cheeks. One of Fabian's hands caught Sirius a stinging blow on his arse.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," he said, other hand still occupied with smoothing through Sirius's hair. "I have plans for that arse that don't involve you going off like a rocket now."

"What happened to me being young and being able to recover?" whined Sirius, obediently removing his hands and rinsing himself off.

"Tonight," said Fabian, pushing Sirus under the shower to rid his hair of lather, "I want you to squirm and writhe and wait for me, until I'm ready for you. Can you do that?"

Groaning, Sirius relaxed back into Fabian's arms. "I'm not sure," he said. "Are you going to talk to me like that? Because that's really not going to help with the waiting."

Fabian chuckled and swiftly rinsed Sirius before flicking the water off and reaching for a towel. Tugging Sirius round, he pressed against him, capturing his lips in a long, slow kiss. Sirius moaned into the kiss, bucking his hard cock forward into Fabian's thigh and clutching his fingers on his shoulders.

"Patience," admonished Fabian. "Come on, get out or we'll fall and hurt ourselves and then no one gets to come." Hurried out of the stall, Sirius shivered as the cool air hit his wet skin. Fabian cast a quick heating charm and roughly dragged the towel over Sirius's shoulders before pushing him to lean braced against the vanity unit. Slanting a questioning look over his shoulder, Sirius watched Fabian's lips tilt in a smirk that promised him a very good time, and felt his cock get even harder.

The fingers parting his cheeks were not unexpected, but the tongue was. It flicked over his hole; wet, slippery and so very good. Groaning, Sirius braced his hands more firmly and pushed back. It felt hot, sinful and wicked. His skin crawled with arousal, nerves zinging in pleasure. Sirius arched his head back, eyes opening and catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Hair wet and still tangled, eyes heavy and cheeks flushed, he barely recognised himself. Groaning, Sirius gave in to the feeling, letting Fabian do what he pleased.

Sirius was trembling and moaning almost incoherently by the time Fabian pulled away, pressing hot kisses up Sirius's spine as he stood. Sirius managed to focus on his face, reflected in the mirror, taking in the pleased, predatory gleam. Two slick fingers invaded his arse and Sirius jerked, spreading his legs wider and wordlessly asking Fabian to give him more, eyes fluttering closed.

"You look so good like this," Fabian all but purred in Sirius's ear. "Such a wanton sight, begging for my cock. Will you beg for me, Sirius? Beg me to fuck you?"

"Please," moaned Sirius. "Whatever you want."

"I want you to beg me, Sirius."

Sirius opened his eyes, groaning at the sight in front of him. Fabian's hand was spread across his chest, idly tugging his chest hair and skimming over his nipples. Sirius's cock was hard, urgently standing against his belly, hands white-knuckled against the vanity. "Please, Fabian," he begged, "please fuck me. I want you to."

"What do you want me to do?" asked Fabian, adding a third finger.

"Fuck me. Shove your cock into me. I want you. Please, please," pleaded Sirius, twisting back onto Fabian's fingers.

Crying out as the fingers slid away, Sirius shuddered as Fabian pushed inside him steadily, just a little roughly. When he was buried all the way in, hands gripping Sirius's hips, Fabian smiled and bit Sirius's shoulder where it met his neck.

"Tell me how much you like it," Fabian commanded, starting to move in long, slow strokes that had Sirius gripping the vanity even more tightly.

 

"Merlin, I love it. Love feeling you inside me. So hard and, oh, hn, perfect. Please." Sirius gasped.

"Please what?" asked Fabian, biting his neck again, dragging his teeth over the skin.

"Harder," gasped Sirius. Fabian complied, setting a fast, rough rhythm that had Sirius moaning. "Touch me," begged Sirius, "Please."

"You can come from my cock," said Fabian, "or not at all."

Sirius moaned brokenly, leaning forward slightly. Fabian took advantage of the new angle to thrust harder. Sirius could feel him pressing hard right against his prostate every time. He watched them in the mirror, Fabian's eyes gleaming at him in the mirror as his teeth ravaged Sirius's shoulder, watched his cock jerk against his belly with each thrust.

He felt his orgasm approaching and groaned helplessly, thrusting back against Fabian as hard as he could. Fabian's thrusts grew harder, pounding into him, and Sirius couldn't tear his eyes from the mirror, watching even as his lids grew heavy and his vision hazy, as he came in long white pulses, as Fabian groaned and came inside him.

Fabian changed his grip, holding them both up and manoeuvring them round to lean against the vanity rather than crumple to the floor. Sirius rested his face in the crook of Fabian's throat, breathing deeply, arms wrapped around Fabian's waist. Fabian held on to Sirius, fumbling just a little for his wand and casting a quick cleansing charm.

"Nice," said Sirius, at last. "I think I may never walk again."

Laughing softly, Fabian pressed his lips against Sirius's temple. Stroking his hand down Sirius's back, he said, "It wasn't that bad, was it?" Sirius just whimpered and kissed Fabian's neck.

A loud banging startled them both. "Fabian?" shouted a voice from the lounge. Fabian jumped, pulling away with no trace of post-coital langour.

"Gideon!" he shouted back, diving for his trousers. "What the fuck?"

"Thank Merlin," came the reply, followed by footsteps. Fabian pulled on his pants and trousers, and Sirius gathered himself enough to wrap a towel around his hips.

"It's the O'Halloran's," said the voice, resolving itself into another redhead, as the man burst into the bathroom without ceremony. He took in their state of undress and snorted. "Good timing, huh?" he said. Fabian grunted and snatched up his boots.

"What?' spluttered Sirius, realising that this must be his other cousin. "What's going on?"

"Got to go," said Fabian. Sirius saw a look on his face he hadn't been expecting. It was cool, expression determined, set in firm lines that he had only seen before on the faces of experienced Aurors. He didn't understand anything that was happening. Fabian and Gideon strode quickly from the room and Sirius followed. "No time to explain now," said Fabian, shrugging on his shirt as they headed for the door. "We'll talk when I get back. Ready, Gideon?"

"Ready," confirmed Gideon. "Nice to meet you at last, Sirius," he added, with a smirk. Sirius nodded blankly. He knew he should have asked Fabian to introduce him to Gideon months ago. It would have been much, much better than being caught in the bathroom, reeking of sex and wrapped in a towel.

Sirius blinked as the door shut behind them, still not understanding what had happened in the last few minutes. He sank down on the sofa and stared at the wall, trying to process everything. His boyfriend appeared to be a secret agent in the fight against Voldemort. He tipped his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes and sighing. He didn't think the bottle of firewhisky had been invented that could cope with this.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

Pizza and beer would never have made it onto the menu at Black Manor. Sirius loved to scoop up the slices, dripping with oil, hot and garlicky, feeding them into his mouth with greedy bites. The beer was always cold, the bottle getting slippery from his greasy fingers. Remus shook his head in amusement as Sirius licked sauce off his fingers, eating his own slice much more neatly.

"I always think watching Sirius eat pizza is a lesson in why children should be allowed to get their messy eating urges out of the way when they're young," said Lily, reaching for another slice. Sirius stuck out his tongue, deliberately taking a bite that was too big, letting the sauce smear his chin. "Yuck," Lily said, wrinkling her nose.

"Hey," said Sirius, mouth still full of pizza. He swallowed thickly. "James isn't doing any better in the grown-up eating stakes." James paused in the middle of picking out all the peppers, hastily rubbing his hand on his jeans.

"You're both children," said Remus, saluting them with his bottle of beer. Lily nodded in agreement.

"We are not," protested Sirius. The front door creaked open as the others laughed at him. "I'm not a child!"

"I can see how they might think that," said Fabian, leaning in the doorway and looking down at the quartet gathered round the coffee table.

"Fabian!" said Sirius, dropping his slice of pizza back into the box and bounding up.

"Sirius, clean your hands before you maul me," he laughed. "My cleaning charms aren't good enough to get pizza off my shirt." Lily laughed as Sirius sighed and sent deft charms over his hands, removing every smear.

"Can I maul you now?" he asked.

"If you must," said Fabian, feigning reluctance. He brushed his lips over Sirius's, letting his hand slide down his back from shoulder to hip. Sirius pushed forward, bringing their bodies together. He loved the freedom he had to do this, to touch Fabian like this, knowing that his friends knew and didn't care. It was heady. Moving back, he turned to face their amused smirks. He glared at them, then tuned back in to what Fabian was saying. "I didn't realise you were going to have guests tonight. Shall I come back later?"

"Nah, they're just here for dinner. Beer?" he asked, pushing Fabian towards the table. "And help yourself to the pizza. I think we got too much."

"Yes, a beer would be nice," said Fabian, sinking to the floor and inspecting the contents of the pizza boxes. "Have the four of you managed to go through this much?" he asked.

"Don't look at me," Lily said. "It's Sirius and James who look like their trousers are going to burst." Fabian raked his eyes over Sirius as he handed him a beer and sat down, as close to Fabian as possible. Sirius grinned and wriggled closer, touching their knees together.

"I'm not going to burst my trousers," said Sirius, smugly, picking up his abandoned slice of pizza. Lily snorted, finishing off her beer.

"Me neither," agreed James. Lily shook her head at the pair of them. Remus wadded up a napkin and sent it flying through the air to smack James on the forehead.

"James, you've had so much to eat that I don't think you'll be safe to Apparate," he said. "You'd probably splinch the bulge of your belly off."

Sirius laughed, taking a long pull on his beer. Fabian smiled politely next to him. Lily stood, putting her hands on her hips and surveying the mess on the table. "Shall I tidy up?" she asked.

"No, no," said Sirius, "I'll sort it out later."

"Well, then, I am going to take this pot-bellied piglet home," she replied. James looked down at his half-eaten slice of pizza then up at his girlfriend. He put the pizza down, ignoring the snigger from Sirius, and got to his feet.

"See you, Sirius," he said. "Later, Remus. Fabian." Lily gestured for him to lead and smiled at them both as she left. Remus waved to James and Lily as he swallowed the last of his beer.

"I have a date," he said, putting the empty bottle on the coffee table.

"Remus, you dog," said Sirius. "Who is it?"

"Not telling," said Remus, with a smile. Brushing his hands off with another napkin, he got to his feet. "Goodnight, Sirius, Fabian."

"I'll be round for the details tomorrow!" called Sirius. He took another swig from his beer and turned to look at Fabian. "Hey," he said.

"I didn't mean to get rid of them," said Fabian. "Do you think they don't like me?"

Laughing, Sirius shook his head. "They're glad someone's keeping me in line," he said.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, dropping his last bit of crust into the box and having another swallow of beer. He looked at Fabian, looked hard, seeking the man he'd seen yesterday, the one with the cool, determined face. He could see no sign of it in Fabian. His smile was as relaxed as ever, but Sirius thought there was a hint of caution in his eyes. "I was worried about you," he blurted.

Fabian's face closed slightly, the amused smile fading. "No need," he said. "I've been doing it for a while."

"Doing what? Fighting Voldemort?" Sirius looked at him sharply. "That's what you're doing, isn't it? One of those Phoenix people."

"Well, so?" asked Fabian. "Someone has to fight him."

"The Ministry is fighting him, Fabian. It's not something that ordinary people have to do." Pulling away, Fabian got to his feet and walked to the window. "Well?" said Sirius, watching Fabian's back, unsure what had changed in the atmosphere between them.

"It's something only ordinary people can do," said Fabian at last. "Open your eyes a little, Sirius. Your precious Ministry is a bunch of pureblood lapdogs."

"That's not true," protested Sirius. "The Aurors-"

Fabian cut him off with a wave of his hand, still looking out the window. Eyes fixed on Fabian's shoulder, Sirius waited for him to speak. "The O'Hallorans," he said, finally. "Their youngest son was supposed to get married today. Did you know him? At Hogwarts?"

"Ixsander O'Halloran?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Fabian. "He was supposed to be marrying Elaine Foster - remember her? Muggleborn. All her family was staying at the O'Halloran's place for the wedding. Do you know why they're not getting married tomorrow, Sirius?"

"No," said Sirius, slowly, mouth dry.

"They are not getting married tomorrow because tomorrow Elaine is getting out of St Mungos to help organise a funeral for her grandmother, her uncle and two of her cousins, all Muggles, all murdered by Death Eaters last night."

"That's not-" started Sirius.

Spinning round, Fabian shot him a glare. "It is our problem," he said, fiercely. "It's everyone's problem. It's my problem and it's your problem and it should be the Ministry's problem, but they've shut their eyes so firmly they can't see to wipe their own arse."

"You were there," said Sirius.

"I was there," confirmed Fabian, dragging his hand through his hair. "Oh, I was definitely there."

Staring in silence across the room, Sirius read the dejected slump to Fabian's shoulders, the pain on his face. He shouldn't be fighting this war. This war was for Aurors, for those trained to it, to stand up against the evil, not for ordinary people. They shouldn't have to protect each other. "You shouldn't have to do that," said Sirius, at last, voice very low, shaky.

"Who else will do it?" Fabian asked. "If not me? Who? Who will protect the Fosters? And everyone like them?"

"I don't know," said Sirius, helplessly. His gaze flickered over Fabian again, seeking in him the carefree cousin. There was no sign of him in the weary set of the face in front of him.

"I should go," said Fabian. "It's getting late." Turning, he headed for the door.

"Wait," said Sirius, licking his lips, suddenly nervous. "Can I come round tomorrow?"

"Sure, little cousin," said Fabian. "Usual time?"

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Just like usual."

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

"Fabian?" called Sirius, pushing open the front door to Fabian's apartment. "Fabian, are you home?"

"In the bedroom," came the answer. Sirius strode through, dropping the flagon of beer on the kitchen counter on his way through. He stopped short in the doorway of Fabian's room, transfixed by the sight that greeted him. While he might have been expecting Fabian to be only half-dressed, since things had gone back to something approaching normal between them in the last two weeks, he hadn't been expecting him to have company.

"What happened to you?" he gasped, taking in the bruises over Fabian's face and down his sides, the white patches of gauze decorating ribs and arms, the strip of plaster on his forehead and one cheekbone. Gideon glared at Sirius as he helped Fabian to lie down on the bed.

"What do you think?" he asked, rudely. Sirius's gaze ran over him. Gideon was moving stiffly, his face showing fewer bruises, but still obviously the worse for wear.

"We met with a little accident, Sirius," said Fabian, wincing slightly as he relaxed down into the sheets. Gideon drew up the covers, tucking them around Fabian gently. "Thanks, Giddy," he said, smiling gratefully up at his brother. "You should go home now too."

"You take that potion, then I'll go," Gideon replied. Fabian rolled his eyes, but it was clearly an effort. He held out his hand for it and drank without complaint.

"Go on, then," he said, after he'd stopped grimacing. "Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow." Gideon squeezed Fabian's hand once more and turned, pushing past Sirius with a brusque nod.

"Merlin's balls, Fabian, what exactly did happen to you?" demanded Sirius, sitting himself on the edge of the bed. Despite knowing that Fabian was active in the fight against Voldemort, being faced with the consequences wasn't really something he was comfortable with.

"We had a professional disagreement with some nasty types intent on looting an orphanage for guinea pigs for their experimental Charms programme."

"You got yourself beaten up by Death Eaters, you mean."

"Yeah, that," agreed Fabian. He shifted gingerly on the bed, trying to find a position in which it was comfortable to breathe.

"Fuck, do you have to go looking for trouble?" Watching anxiously as Fabian twitched, obviously uncomfortable, Sirius took the pillow out of Fabian's hand and arranged it carefully to support his injured shoulder.

Fabian shook his head, looking straight at Sirius with a serious expression. His voice was sombre. "This war comes to everyone," he said. "Your name is protection no longer, blood traitor."

"But-" started Sirius.

Fabian cut him off, looking pushed beyond endurance, not the taciturn man of the past few weeks. "Your cousin Bellatrix won't listen to you stammer your reasons before she Crucios you. She'll slap it on, do it fast, keep it there because she loves it. Or she might find out that you like cock, and let her fiance and his brother fuck you open, before they Imperio you and force you to rape Muggle children."

Sirius shook his head, pale now.

"It's not enough to leave, Sirius. This war won't leave you alone, just because you stepped away from your inheritance. It will come to you." Fabian sighed, looking old and pale and bruised. "I wish it wouldn't, but you can't hide forever."

Sirius looked at him, hardly recognising the battered stranger in front of him, telling Sirius truths that tore him to strips, destroying his certainty. "I didn't know," he said, at last, dropping his gaze.

"You do now," said Fabian. "And you have to make your own choice. Isn't that what leaving home was all about? Your own choices?"

"Yeah," said Sirius. "It was."

"I've made that choice," said Fabian, looking tired, face grey under the bruises. "I've been making that choice for the last ten years. But you have to do it by yourself."

Sirius was shaken, staring at Fabian blankly. "How do you do it?" he asked.

Fabian laughed humourlessly, stopping as it obviously jarred his ribs. "Decide, Sirius. Decide. Decide for yourself, and your friend Remus, and for Lily and the little babies she's going to hatch. Decide for yourself." He leaned back into his pillows and closed his eyes. Sirius watched him for a long moment, watching the potion slowly ease his pain, his breathing becoming easier.

"I should go," he said, finally.

"Okay," replied Fabian, not opening his eyes. Sirius stood, still unsure of what to do. He leaned forward and kissed a unbruised spot on Fabian's cheek, drawing back and leaving the room.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;

"What do you want, Fabian?" said Sirius, very quietly, from the doorway. Fabian didn't jump or even look surprised to hear Sirius's voice. So much for Auror training, thought Sirius, he'd known he was there all along, working up the courage to say something.

Fabian looked up from his book, taking in the dark circles under Sirius's eyes. Something in his face relaxed, and Sirius felt something inside him relax too. It had taken three days of worrying and pacing to get him back here.

"I want to live," said Fabian, at last. "I want fun, adventure, as much as I can pack into the time I have. I want you, for as long as we have together." He looked straight at Sirius. "I want to do what's right."

Sirius hadn't been sure that he wanted to come back. It had taken him most of a night and the best part of a bottle of firewhisky to admit that he was afraid of losing Fabian. Now, looking at the man on the sofa, he acknowledged that he had been right to be scared. "I want you," said Sirius. "I never thought I could have this. Something like this."

"Come here," said Fabian, smiling softly and holding out his hand. Sirius tucked into his side on the couch, leaning his head back to watch Fabian's face.

"You were right," said Sirius. "My name is no protection. And there are things to do. Important things. I should be doing them."

"Yeah," said Fabian softly. He tipped their heads together as they rested on the couch, Sirius's fingers playing with Fabian's free hand, Fabian's arm anchoring Sirius hard to his side.

Sirius broke the silence at last. "When we – I mean, the first time, was it just adventure?"

"Yeah," said Fabian again, sounding sad and resigned. "I wanted you, you wanted me. I didn't care about anything else. I never thought it would become more than a one-night stand."

"But it did?" asked Sirius, looking down at their joined hands.

"It did," confirmed Fabian, softly.

"You were right," said Sirius, very quietly. "It was, a little bit, a way to say 'fuck you' to my family."

"I know. I didn't care."

"It's not now."

"I know." Fabian turned his head and pressed a kiss into Sirius's hair.

"So, when do I get signed up to the Order?" asked Sirius.

"I don't know. Is there a hurry?"

"I'm not going to change my mind."

"Good."

"Can we go to bed, now?"

Fabian pulled back and looked into Sirius's face, his mouth creasing into a slow smile. "Now?"

"Yes, now," said Sirius, impatiently. "I want to get my hands on you and check that you've recovered properly. And then I want to get my hands on you and make you fall apart all over again."

Fabian laughed quietly. "Sounds good, little cousin. You have your priorities straight, don't you?"

Sirius didn't bother answering, just tilted Fabian's face and leaned in, lips parting and tongue stroking out to gently invade Fabian's mouth. Fabian let the arm wrapped round Sirius's shoulders tighten, tugging him closer, pressing their chests together. Sirius felt hot, light-headed, blissfully happy. He opened his mouth further, tipping his head to the side and letting Fabian take control of the kiss. Running one hand up Fabian's thigh, Sirius slid the other up the back of his shirt, hand splaying over smooth skin.

"I'm completely healed," said Fabian, pulling away from the kiss and moving to press kisses down Sirius's neck.

"I want to see for myself," growled Sirius. He tugged open a few buttons on Fabian's shirt, dragging it upwards and manoeuvring it over his head gently. Fabian smiled as he emerged from the fabric, letting Sirius smooth his hair back down, run his fingers over his ribs and across his belly. Sirius wanted to touch every inch of that skin. He leaned forward to press a kiss to Fabian's chest, rubbing his cheek against the soft red hair there.

"Happy now?" asked Fabian, carding his fingers through Sirius's hair. Sirius moaned softly and rubbed his face against Fabian again.

"What about the rest of you?" he asked, voice muffled. Fabian laughed softly and pushed Sirius away, standing up to remove his trousers and pants, letting his cock spring free as he pushed the material down and kicked it away. Licking his lips, Sirius leaned forward and opened his mouth over the head of Fabian's cock, gripping Fabian's hips to hold him steady. Fabian moaned, hands reaching down to twine in Sirius's hair, stroking through it and tugging just a little.

Sirius got lost, for a while, in the heavy weight of Fabian on his tongue, letting his moans and whimpers drive him higher, the stutter of his hips reminding Sirius of his own cock, trapped inside his trousers and aching. Sirius was content to ride that ache, letting his mouth worship Fabian with long, slow suction, fingers of one hand stroking over Fabian's balls.

Fabian pulled back at last, looking down at Sirius. Knowing that he looked wrecked, all glassy eyes and flushed skin, Sirius couldn't hide his little whimper of loss. "Strip," said Fabian, softly, fingers caressing the curve of Sirius's jaw.

Standing shakily, Sirius tugged off his clothes with fumbling hands. He turned back to the couch, finding Fabian reclining on it, thighs spread invitingly. He tumbled down into that space, wanting to get his mouth back on Fabian's cock, to taste him and suck him until he came undone. Fabian arched his back and moaned as Sirius slid his mouth all the way down, swallowing hard.

The smell of their sweat filled Sirius's nose. The sharp taste of Fabian leaking into his mouth, the smooth skin of his hips under Sirius's fingers filled Sirius's mind. He felt Fabian's balls draw up tightly and sucked harder, listening to Fabian's moans and pleas. He swallowed as Fabian came long and hard, sucking him gently through the aftershocks.

Pulling off and looking up Fabian's body to meet his sleepy, sated gaze, Sirius was suddenly reminded of how much he wanted to come. He moved up, bracing himself over Fabian, looking down at the body beneath his, meeting his eyes and reading the lazy, affectionate smile there. He stroked a few times, hips stuttering and body clenching hard as he came in long splashes over Fabian's chest and belly.

Fabian's arms gathered him in against his chest, one hand resting softly between Sirius's shoulderblades while the other brushed his hair back from his face. "I'm squashing you," protested Sirius, trying to move.

"I like it," said Fabian. "Stay for a little while." Sirius subsided against his chest, letting the warmth of the body against his work out the last few, cold knots of tension. Fabian's fingers stayed in Sirius's hair, rubbing gently.

"Fabian!" came a shout from the entrance. "Time for the meeting!" Gideon burst into the lounge, stopping short at the sight on the couch. He turned, slapping his hand over his eyes. "Merlin, give a man some warning!" he cried.

Fabian laughed. "Giddy, you burst in, what did you expect?"

"Not to see Sirius's pasty white arse pointing at me!" he said. "I'll wait in the hallway."

Fabian kissed Sirius softly as they peeled themselves apart. Sirius waved his wand in a quick charm, cleaning them both, before he pulled on his clothes. Once dressed, Fabian wrapped his arms around Sirius and pulled him close for another hug. "It's just a meeting," he said, softly. Sirius sighed and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Yeah," said Sirius, wrapping his own arms around Fabian.

"Would you like to come?"

"I thought you said no hurry?"

"Yeah, but I'd forgotten there was a meeting tonight. Gideon knows I have a terrible memory for them."

"Yeah, I'd like to come," said Sirius, surprising himself with his sincerity. He hugged Fabian one last time and moved back. "Hey, Gideon's not going to tell anyone about my pasty white arse, is he?"

"It's a gorgeous arse," said Fabian. "I hope he does, because it will do my reputation no end of good."

Sirius laughed, leading the way out into the hallway, about to take the first step into a fight that could end in his death anytime. He embraced it wholeheartedly.


End file.
